I want to support your work - Matt Kramer

Dear Ann;

I am a professional mediator living in Northern California and working part time in Texas. As my career in mediation developed, beginning in 1994, I occasionally would have cases sent to me that involved abuse on some level. The standard policy, once a mediator determines that abuse is a factor in the relationship, is to end the mediation – abusers are not capable of mediating fairly. I began to study the nature of the abuser and was surprised to learn many of the basic elements in the abusive personality that are not known or understood by the general public. For example, in the mind of the abuser, he is the only victim.

And not only is he unwilling to be empathetic, compassionate, fair minded, responsible for his actions, etc., he is completely incapable of any of the behaviors we consider normal.

I am very enthused to learn of your work bringing domestic and dating violence awareness into schools. I firmly believe that if our youth was provided with an appropriate standardized curriculum in all middle and high schools throughout the nation, we would not only see a reduction in domestic violence, we would also see a reduction in the divorce rate, in child abuse cases, in criminal behavior and many other circumstances related to abusive behavior.

I recommend (and often give away) the book, “The Verbally Abusive Relationship” by Patricia Evans. I also recommend “Trauma and Recovery” by Judith Herman. Do you have any particular titles you recommend?

Since I am not in the field of education, I do not know the pathways to getting your program instituted on a national basis. Can you share your progress or any organizations that are working with you in this regard?

I am deeply moved by your loss. People everywhere need the education you are providing. I would like to help in any way I can.

Matt Kramer
http://mattkramer.com